new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize