Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
