I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
