i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
