Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize