He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
