I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
