Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
