I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize