U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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