I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
