does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
