so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
