K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
