I feel like I'm in dance class right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
