Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
