Yo dont text me then not text me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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