i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
