yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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