with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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