yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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