Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
