OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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