yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
MIDGETS
????
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
