a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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