the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
