between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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