so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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