so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
