I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize