And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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