Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize