So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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