hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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