At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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