I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
