You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
