Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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