glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
