Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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