Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
