How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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