In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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