IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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