Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
