you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
