yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize