ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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