I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
