Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
