did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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