we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
