I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
