you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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