umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I want is dick and wine.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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