You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
