Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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