she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My dick has a subreddit
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
