he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
