Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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