MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
