do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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