yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
