i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
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