My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
