there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize