I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
